Becoming Opportunistic

Something I have been embracing lately is taking advantage of opportunities for change, growth, or aspirations. Realizing I needed to take a year off from my education was not one of my happiest moments. I found myself feeling like I would be unable to keep up with the lives of my friends or be done with school in time to start my "real life"--whatever that means. It took its toll on me emotionally to make that decision. I knew it would be best for me financially, but what I didn't know was how empty my life would start to feel. 

After a few weeks of being out of school, I began to find myself in this never ceasing state of boredom and after awhile you really start to get depressed. How I hated being busy when I was, but then how I missed being busy when I wasn't! It took me awhile before I realized something very important in this life. TIME IS A GIFT.

I woke up one morning and decided that today was the day that I was no longer going to sit around moping and wishing I had something to do--I was just going to go out and do something! The first thing I decided to do was learn to play guitar. I had always wanted to learn to play, I just never had the time. I am a singer/songwriter of sorts and have constantly relied on other people to write music to my songs. Now *I* wanted to be the one to write the music to my songs...so, I made a spur of the moment decision to go to guitar center and drop $300 on a guitar so that I could "feel" my investment in learning it. I took advantage of all my time spent doing useless things to learn how to play the guitar...and after a few months of playing, I'm not half bad!

The next thing I decided to do was take up painting. I had taken a drawing class a few summers back and really enjoyed it. There was something relaxing about capturing the beauty in people and in objects and I found it to be something that really spoke to my soul. I had always thought about taking up painting, but had never really had the time--once again. So, I decided to just go to the store and pick up some paint supplies and get to it! I've already painted my first few rough paintings and I am really enjoying it. I feel like a part of ME can be captured through music and art and that's something that has been really rewarding. 

Something else on my list of things to do is take some horseback riding lessons. I absolutely love horses and there is nothing like the feeling of wind rushing through your hair as you cantor through winding trails. Every year since I was very young I have gone horseback riding at the Feast of Tabernacles, but I had never had the time to actually take lessons. It's just one more thing that I can take advantage of with this time that I have while I am young and full of energy.

Most important on my list of things to do with my time, is study the Bible. A few weeks ago, my mom and a close family friend decided that we were going to partner up in reading through the entire Bible in a year (and a couple days). Every day I have a reading that is assigned and then we all get together through email and discuss what we have learned from that reading selection. It's something that has definitely helped me keep my focus on God and I've also been spending time probing the Bible in search of realistic applications for what it talks about and also researching it to find the truth in it. There could not be a more practical application of seizing the moment like finding your purpose and solidifying your beliefs. Connecting with God and with others on this level has encouraged me and also inspired my creative approach to life. In everything I do, God has been in mind. He is the artist. I am just the paintbrush in his hand. 

Finding the positive side of taking time off school has really opened up my mind to this massive world of possibilities. I have never felt more connected to myself and I am finally doing the things I have always said I wanted to do. It's liberating and fulfilling and certainly keeps me busy in the best way possible.

My advice to you today is just to recognize that time is precious. Don't wait until tomorrow to do the things that you can do today. Find your passions, ignite your fire, and run with it without hesitation. Seize the moment. You never know when you won't have the time to do the things you've always longed to do and you don't want to regret not having done them when time runs out.

Finding an Identity

It's been awhile since I posted last, but so much has been happening the last few weeks. I have found that I sometimes enjoy losing myself by keeping myself occupied with complicated projects. I just got back from a week long church event called "The Feast of Tabernacles" and I felt that, though there were many moments of fun, I got myself preoccupied with responsibilities and consequently lost out on the most important aspect of that holy time--recentering myself with God.

I find that's true of my everyday life as well. Rather than spend time getting to know my creator, the one person who can truly disclose my true identity to me, I preoccupy myself with things to keep myself busy and pass the time. Rather than having a meaningful prayer or Bible study, I focus on worldly issues and worldly projects. Lately I've found myself so wrapped up in my own plans that I almost forgot about God completely! How can I do that so easily?? In turn, I lose my identity...and what makes me real. 

The focus of this blog is about recentering yourself--coming back to a place where you feel yourself shining through rather than just facets of you. When you think about your life 5 years from now, where do you want to be? WHO do you want to be? and Can you let go and let God? These are questions I struggle with daily and it's probably why a lot of things don't come as easily for me. I'm trying so hard to please everyone around me, including myself, and I have completely ignored pleasing my creator. That's not to say that I don't feel as though he is proud of me. I think I've done many things in my life for Him to be proud of. I just want to know that my heart and soul and mind are focused on him all the time rather than just some of the time. I want to get back to feeling comfortable in the life and the body that God created especially for me...

Recently I've been doing a bit of studying with my mom. We're trying to read through the Bible in a year and I've been finding myself much more in tune with the research aspect of things this time around. I'm not just reading it to say I read it; I'm reading it to say I know it and understand it! Something I'm passionate about when studying the Bible is specifically finding the woman's purpose in God's plan. I guess I feel that's where I can find my identity and my purpose as it relates to God. Reading through Genesis and the creation of man and woman, I decided to research the physical differences between males and females. 

I started looking to see if there was any indication of Eve being created from Adam scientifically. That was a bust...at least as far as it relates to the rib cage! AND scientifically males and females are pretty similar in skeletal structure. The main differences are the pelvic bones and that wasn't exactly what I was interested in for this particular study. I wanted something deeper!! So...what I came across was more intimate and more spiritual than I  initially bargained for.

I found a website about the "ART" of males and females. It was a website about how to draw men and women and what I found most crucial to feeding my curiosity on the subject was that the physical structure of a woman's body is much more intricate than a man's. Her body has soft curves and has to be drawn much more precisely than a man's in order to get the same effect. There are a lot of ins and outs as to distinguishing a female from a male when it comes to the art of drawing--and I'm not talking about cartoon women with big giant boobs and teeny tiny waists, I'm talking about REAL women. It's much more complicated. 

I think that's what really hit home for me is that it was a much more complex idea that God had for creating a woman. He made Adam the same way he made everything else, but a woman was special...and I think the fact that it takes a certain kind of complex thinking to understand women emotionally tells me it only makes sense that it would take complex thinking to understand a woman's body physically! It takes a skilled artist to create a lifelike woman and that's exactly what God is--a skilled artist.We, as women, were created with a special purpose and we are unique compared to any other species that God created. How AWESOME is that?? Women are the heart and soul of God--the intimate, emotional, nurturing and loving aspects of the Lord our God. We were meant to showcase those wonderful and finite details of our creator. There is no greater identity and purpose than that!!

This might have been a tangent and a bit random, but I think this aspect of identity and finding yourself and your purpose is what really helps bring home the idea of making successful changes in your life. You have to know yourself...and to know yourself, you must know God. I think the same is true of men; they were created with a unique purpose. 

So here is my thought for the day... Find out who you are through God and everything you dreamed will become a reality.  Be vulnerable with God and be vulnerable with others because it is through YOU that others may see God.