It's been awhile since I posted last, but so much has been happening the last few weeks. I have found that I sometimes enjoy losing myself by keeping myself occupied with complicated projects. I just got back from a week long church event called "The Feast of Tabernacles" and I felt that, though there were many moments of fun, I got myself preoccupied with responsibilities and consequently lost out on the most important aspect of that holy time--recentering myself with God.
I find that's true of my everyday life as well. Rather than spend time getting to know my creator, the one person who can truly disclose my true identity to me, I preoccupy myself with things to keep myself busy and pass the time. Rather than having a meaningful prayer or Bible study, I focus on worldly issues and worldly projects. Lately I've found myself so wrapped up in my own plans that I almost forgot about God completely! How can I do that so easily?? In turn, I lose my identity...and what makes me real.
The focus of this blog is about recentering yourself--coming back to a place where you feel yourself shining through rather than just facets of you. When you think about your life 5 years from now, where do you want to be? WHO do you want to be? and Can you let go and let God? These are questions I struggle with daily and it's probably why a lot of things don't come as easily for me. I'm trying so hard to please everyone around me, including myself, and I have completely ignored pleasing my creator. That's not to say that I don't feel as though he is proud of me. I think I've done many things in my life for Him to be proud of. I just want to know that my heart and soul and mind are focused on him all the time rather than just some of the time. I want to get back to feeling comfortable in the life and the body that God created especially for me...
Recently I've been doing a bit of studying with my mom. We're trying to read through the Bible in a year and I've been finding myself much more in tune with the research aspect of things this time around. I'm not just reading it to say I read it; I'm reading it to say I know it and understand it! Something I'm passionate about when studying the Bible is specifically finding the woman's purpose in God's plan. I guess I feel that's where I can find my identity and my purpose as it relates to God. Reading through Genesis and the creation of man and woman, I decided to research the physical differences between males and females.
I started looking to see if there was any indication of Eve being created from Adam scientifically. That was a bust...at least as far as it relates to the rib cage! AND scientifically males and females are pretty similar in skeletal structure. The main differences are the pelvic bones and that wasn't exactly what I was interested in for this particular study. I wanted something deeper!! So...what I came across was more intimate and more spiritual than I initially bargained for.
I found a website about the "ART" of males and females. It was a website about how to draw men and women and what I found most crucial to feeding my curiosity on the subject was that the physical structure of a woman's body is much more intricate than a man's. Her body has soft curves and has to be drawn much more precisely than a man's in order to get the same effect. There are a lot of ins and outs as to distinguishing a female from a male when it comes to the art of drawing--and I'm not talking about cartoon women with big giant boobs and teeny tiny waists, I'm talking about REAL women. It's much more complicated.
I think that's what really hit home for me is that it was a much more complex idea that God had for creating a woman. He made Adam the same way he made everything else, but a woman was special...and I think the fact that it takes a certain kind of complex thinking to understand women emotionally tells me it only makes sense that it would take complex thinking to understand a woman's body physically! It takes a skilled artist to create a lifelike woman and that's exactly what God is--a skilled artist.We, as women, were created with a special purpose and we are unique compared to any other species that God created. How AWESOME is that?? Women are the heart and soul of God--the intimate, emotional, nurturing and loving aspects of the Lord our God. We were meant to showcase those wonderful and finite details of our creator. There is no greater identity and purpose than that!!
This might have been a tangent and a bit random, but I think this aspect of identity and finding yourself and your purpose is what really helps bring home the idea of making successful changes in your life. You have to know yourself...and to know yourself, you must know God. I think the same is true of men; they were created with a unique purpose.
So here is my thought for the day... Find out who you are through God and everything you dreamed will become a reality. Be vulnerable with God and be vulnerable with others because it is through YOU that others may see God.
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