Making a Come Back

Today, I begin a new beginning. 

My life has been a series of ups and downs. There are good days and bad days,  good times and bad times. I had a good long stretch of doing very well and being very successful at making a change in my life, but somehow I always manage to self-sabotage. I get to a place where I'm finally starting to make strides in getting my health back and I just completely lose it... Why do I do this??? I decided to do some research and found this article on self-sabotage to be really helpful. I'm the kind of person who likes to be in control of all situations and my health is one area where I never feel like I'm in control. I went so far as to develop an eating disorder in high school just to feel like I had control over it. I self-sabotage because failure in this area is familiar and it's comfortable. I've coped with failure for years... Success on the other hand.. that's new. Success is unfamiliar and it's scary and I always seem to feel like it's only a matter of time before I fail.. so I usually just find some way to tear down my accomplishments and revert back to my old ways so that I don't have to "prolong the inevitable."

I'm ready to shift my thought process this time. I'm going to stay current here with my progress so that I have something to ground me to my commitment. It's a never-ending process, but I'm so proud of myself for never giving up. Even when I'm down, I just keep fighting to move forward. That's such an important shift in my focus from before. I used to think that if I failed, I had failed and there was no going back. Now, I realize that success is in the ability to get back up and try again after you have failed. You can choose to be defined by your failures or you can choose to be defined by your courage in continuing to pursue the goals you've set for yourself despite your failures. That choice is completely up to you. Are you going to make a come back? Or are you going to accept defeat? 

For a long time, I've been watching The Biggest Loser on NBC and I've loved the stories and the people on the show are so inspiring. I always thought it would eventually give me the motivation I needed, but I never found a character that I could really and truly relate to. This season, there was a girl named Danni. She was beautiful, even though she was overweight, and I could see so much of myself in her. Insecure, scared, and somewhat lonely. Early on in the season, she lost all of her teammates and she was left fighting for her spot on the Biggest Loser ranch completely alone. She could have just given up completely and decided to accept defeat, but what happened next was one of the most inspiring come back stories in Biggest Loser history. Danni rose to the occasion. She fought like her life depended on it and she not only won almost every single challenge as a solo competitor, she managed to keep her spot on the ranch by just a hair at every single weigh in. She hung on by the skin of her teeth, pushed herself beyond what she thought she was capable of, and went on to win the entire show. Her transformation is incredible and her story resonated in me. I've always believed I could be an athlete, but I just resign myself to being a pretty, but heavy girl. I don't want to just be that girl who's comfortable being invisible; I want to be the girl I believe I am inside!

Today, I'm challenging myself to rise to the occasion and overcome my failures. Today, I'm writing my come back story and I challenge you to do the same. It's never too late for change and I'm determined to prove to myself that I can do it. 

First thing I'm going to do to jump start this new goal is to give up something I love... Fast Food. I'm busy constantly and I turn to something fast so that I don't need to put any extra effort into my life to prepare something... Not anymore. If I need something fast, I will go to the grocery store and get a salad. No excuses. This is going to be tough, but I'm ready. I'm mentally ready and I'm determined to find success and revel in it... Who's with me??